The War on Arrested Development

Ladies, gentlemen, my fellow Americans,

Yesterday, November 10, 2005 - a date which will live in infamy - the sitcom Arrested Development was suddenly and deliberately cancelled by the television forces of the Empire of Rupert Murdoch.

The world was at peace with that network and, at the solicitation of many viewers, was still in conversation with the show's producers looking toward the maintenance of the sitcom on television. Indeed, one year after Fox had commenced filming of the 2nd season, the network executives delivered to the press a formal reply to the show's status. While this reply stated that it seemed useless to continue the existing diplomatic negotiations, it contained no hint of its impending cancellation.

It will be recorded that the continuous shifts of airing slots makes it obvious that the attack was deliberately planned many days or even weeks ago. During the intervening time the Fox network has deliberately sought to deceive viewers by false statements and expressions of hope for continued filming.

The attack yesterday on the sitcom has caused severe damage to network television. Very many intelligent viewers have been lost. In addition viewers have been reported gutted on the high seas between their tvs and their sofas.

Yesterday the Fox network also launched an attack against Kitchen Confidential. Last year Fox forces attacked Firefly. Last year Fox forces attacked Family Guy. This morning the Foxes attacked Arrested Development.

Fox has, therefore, undertaken a surprise offensive extending throughout the intelligent viewers' area. The facts of yesterday speak for themselves. The viewers of Arrested Development have already formed their opinions and well understand the implications to the very life and safety of great television.

As Commander-in-Chief of the Virginian Virgin blog, I have directed that all measures be taken for our defense.

Always will we remember the character of the onslaught against us. No matter how long it may take us to overcome this premeditated invasion, the Arrested Development viewers in their righteous might will win through to absolute victory.

I believe I interpret the will of the intelligentsia and of the people when I assert that we will not only defend ourselves to the uttermost but will make very certain that this form of treachery shall never endanger us again.

Hostilities exist. There is no blinking at the fact that our people, our territory and our interests are in grave danger.

With confidence in our armed petitions - with the unbounded determination of our people - we will gain the inevitable triumph - so help us God.

I ask that the viewers of this blog declare that since the unprovoked and dastardly attack by Fox on Friday, November Tenth, a state of war has existed between the readers of this blog and the Rupert Murdoch Empire."